Perfect
by xXxIntoTheDarknessxXx
Summary: Tony is everything his father hates, and is nothing his fathers wants him to be. When he gets half an hour to talk to his father and get some answers, what happens? Will he realize who his real Dad is? Inspired by 'Perfect' by Simple Plan


While his father was in town, Special Agent Anthony 'Tony' DiNozzo was going to talk to him; and more importantly, he was going to get answers. Ziva knew this was a touchy subject with the Field Agent, so she left him alone when he told her his father was coming over tonight since he was in the area. She made a note to talk to him in the morning, find out how it went. Find out how Tony was.

She never showed it but she cared, she loved him, but couldn't give him the time of day. It wasn't that she wouldn't, but she couldn't. She could never find a guy she could trust. They were all cheaters liars, or clingy, jealous and possessive. She couldn't afford to risk ruining her career again for a romance with a guy like Tony. He didn't know how to be serious.

As she walked out of the bullpen that night at 8 'o' clock, she smiled and said a quick, 'Goodnight, Tony.' Before she left. As she got into her car, she saw him pass by and get into his own as she pulled away.

As he pulled into a pizzeria and ordered, he thought about what he needed to say, needed to ask to get answers. After the pizzeria, he walked next door to a alcohol store and bought a 6 pack of his favorite beer. He put both the pizza and beer onto the passenger seat of the car. As he drove, he wondered what he would say if his planned fell right from under his feet. He had planned to refrain from fighting with his father, but what was he meant to do? Duct tape his father's mouth shut? No, he would just have to avoid fighting by choosing his words carefully.

He suddenly wished for the option of rescheduling for any night but tonight. He had just closed a case in which a dying (now dead) mans' long lost marine son had to found before he did. This bought back a few memories.

Ten minutes later, the pizza was hot, the beer was cold, and his father was sitting across from him at the table in the kitchen.

'I asked you here, because there are questions I want answered, and things I need to say.' Silence. He continued. 'I've left it long enough, but now I need to know.'

'Know what, Anthony. Don't waste my time.'

'I know I didn't exactly grow up according to plan, just ask every school I got expelled from.' Shaky nervous laugh. 'And I know you thought I was wasting my time doing what I wanted instead if what you always wanted me to be.'

'I wanted someone trust-worthy to take my place in later years, someone with the DiNozzo name, and you didn't live up to that, plain and simple. You never did have it in you.'

'Why didn't you give me a chance. Maybe if you didn't pressure me every day of my life, I wouldn't have been so determined to be everything you hated.'

'Is there a point to this, boy?'

'Yes, if you'll give me a chance, Dad. You know, every time I did something that I wanted with my life, when did you ever tell me you were proud or support me, or help me? Tell me Dad, give me one good example!' He breathed in and out slowly, trying to calm himself again after that little outburst. He was not in interrogation, he was talking to his father, the man who paid his staff to raise him.

'I see what's going on here, boy. You won't give me a chance, won't listen to my reasons, so I should leave if you won't hear me out what's the point in this conversation?'

'No, you don't. You never did. Nor did you ever tell me you loved me, you were happy I was your son, you always disapproved all along. And it hurt.'

"No matter what I did, I was never good enough for you, no matter how hard I try, I wasn't ever, and I'm never going to be good enough for you, am I? you'll never be proud of me, will you?'

'You're like your mother, boy. Stupid, arrogant and stubborn.' His words stung like chlorine in his eyes, but he wouldn't give in. That was what his father wanted, to prove he was weak. But he would never, could never give in to the only man who could make him cry, make him shed a single tear.

'My mother? Don't talk about her. Don't drag her into this. She's dead. This isn't her fight to fight.' Tony retorted calmly.

'You sound just like her. You idiot boy!' Tony's eyes were watering, but he blinked hard twice, and moved on.

'I can't be perfect, Dad. That's all you want, and it's all I can't be. You can't just expect me to change my entire life to suit you, your deluded vision of the perfect son. Even if I did, it's too late, and we couldn't just go back to before mom died, when you were happy for me to be your son.'

'Deluded vision? The only one with a deluded vision here is you, boy! Hurry it up! On with it, you're wasting my time with your ignorance.' More blinking on Tony's half before.

'Nothing lasts forever Dad. I'm sorry I can't be a good enough son for you.'

'You know, I used to think, when I was a kid, 'I want to grow up to be just like Daddy'. I thank god every day I didn't. Because even if I did, I wouldn't be good enough, would I Dad? It hurts thinking I'll never be ood enough for the man who raised me-scratched that. Paid his staff to raise me until I was 10, then ignore me. I hardly remember the last time you spent 10 minutes with me when we didn't fight. I know you never even cared, don't try to deny it. You didn't care then, and you don't care now.'

'I just wanted to raise an obedient child to grow up and take my place.'

'I was never going to be what you wanted me to be.'

'Get to the point, Anthony. You are testing my patience.'

'It'll never change with you, Anthony. You'll never understand, will you? You'll never understand why I did the things I did, will you? Until you understand that, you'll never understand the rest. Yet, you accuse me of not understanding you.'

'Don't play these games with me, Dad. Nothing's ever going to change what you said, what you did, how you treated me. Please, don't turn your back on me again. We may never understand each other, but I do want to know you.' _You're the last part I have of my mother._ He thought.

'What use are you to me?'

'You just proved what I already know.'

'What's that, boy.?' His father asked as he stood to leave.

'That even though I am your kid, I'll never really be your son. And I'm sorry I can't be perfect.'

DiNozzo, Snr. grunted a slight appreciation of having heard his child speak.

'You know, you used to be my hero. You'll always be my father, but you'll never really be my Dad.'

'I tried to make you understand, son. But you never listen.' But his games were never going to be a match for Tony

'Don't pull that crap with me. Talk to you next christmas. I'll call you.' His door slammed as his father left. His words weren't venomous, but stung just the same. He breathed for a minute, blinked, and pulled out his phone to call his Dad. Not the man he had just fought with about his dead mother, but the coffee loving marine that filled the place in his heart where his father should be.


End file.
